


This Waking Nightmare Lingers (Show Me Who I Am)

by obisgirl



Series: Show Me Who I Am [1]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-06-28
Updated: 2012-06-28
Packaged: 2017-11-08 18:40:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/446284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obisgirl/pseuds/obisgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mr. Gold's reunion with Belle doesn't go the way he expected; Belle is withdrawn and he doesn't know what to do to get her to come out of her shell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers: Episode 12, Post "Skin Deep" AU  
> Disclaimer: Once Upon a Time characters are property of Disney and Adam Horowitz, Edward Kitsis. This fanfic is for pure entertainment.

Gold didn't want to close his eyes, he was afraid if he did that she wouldn't be there when he woke. 

He ached to touch her, run his fingers through her now, very long brown hair, hold her in his arms until she fell asleep and kiss her tears away. He wasn’t much for romance but it truly broke his heart to see Belle now, a far cry from the vibrant, dreamy, independent, fiery young woman he once knew. 

She barely spoke and often shied away from him whenever he tried to touch her, hold her hand, brush hair out of her face; Gold didn’t think much of it at first and then began to think, maybe she hated him. He didn’t want to presume what Belle might be thinking of him, but it wasn’t impossible to think after all this time and considering their bitter separation. 

28 years, he had to remind himself. That was how long she had been alone, locked away, underneath the hospital. He wanted to blame Regina for locking her away but it wasn’t her fault; it was his. He had spent decades alone, believing no one could love him and didn’t deserve love because who could love a beast? She could, she wanted to and he chose his power over her because he didn’t want to believe that she could love him. But Belle was right about him; he was a coward. 

He made so many mistakes but the one he regretted the most was turning her away. Belle was his salvation but even now, it seemed like she was still in that dungeon. He wanted to help her but he wasn’t sure how, or even if she wanted his help. 

Gold sighed, turning his attention once again to the beautiful angel on his bed. He wanted to soothe her nightmares, tell her how sorry he was for everything…

Belle shifted uncomfortably in bed, her brow crinkling, a soft cry escaped her lips, prompting Gold to stand up and hobble over, kneeling down beside her.

He didn’t want to scare her but he felt compelled to reach over and clear her long hair away just so he could see her lovely face. He tried to be as gentle as possible, but a moment later, those lovely eyes opened and she stared curiously at him; it took his breath away. 

“Belle, I…” 

Her empty stare lingered a moment and then she turned over. He wanted to say that he was sorry for everything and he was for here for her, whenever she needed him; now, it seemed like she didn’t even care. 

Gold stood up and left the room. 

~~

She didn’t hate him. 

All those years locked away, Belle had plenty of time to come to terms with their separation. She was still getting used to not falling asleep in a padded cell and seeing him again. He was all she ever thought of when she was in there. 

His face haunted her dreams, their final goodbye a lingering nightmare, the way he looked at her after she had fallen, trying to remove the drapes. 

Rumpelstiltskin wasn’t a monster. The real monster was the one who locked her away. It wasn’t his fault. No matter how much she was angry with him for treating her that way, she knew it was because he truly loved her and was scared of giving into that love. 

Belle was scared too; she still remembered one of the Queen’s guards snatching her as she left the castle, bounding her feet and her wrists, tossing her into the carriage. They shoved her into a dark cell, she demanded that they release her but they said the Evil Queen had need of her. 

Why would the Evil Queen have need of her? 

She sat in there for days and began to wonder if the Evil Queen even remembered that she was there. One day before going to sleep, she felt someone watching her. Belle remembered those cold eyes, staring at her; it sent shivers down her spine but she refused to acknowledge her presence after she had forgotten about her. 

The next day when she awoke, Belle was alarmed to find herself in a different prison. 

Rumple’s home wasn’t a prison, she reminded herself. She was free to leave whenever she wished but where would she go? Who would take care of her? She didn’t know anyone outside of the hospital, other than him. If she left, what would happen to her? The Queen was still a threat. She could have her arrested and thrown back into that padded cell. 

No, more than anything, Belle didn’t want be alone again. She was safe, alive and reunited with the man she still loved, despite what he might be thinking. But she wasn’t ready yet and she prayed that he would be patient with her. 

~~

Belle wasn’t used to the sunlight as it freely flowed through the window, forcing her to wake up. She turned away from the window, hugging the nearest the pillow, burying her face in it and inhaling the scent that was specifically him. Even that hadn’t changed, Belle thought, a small smile forming on her lips. 

Finally, Belle got up, studied the room, found some clothes, a white shirt that belonged to him and a robe. 

She found Gold in the kitchen, a nice apron over his black suit, cooking. It was an odd sight. She didn’t say anything as he turned around, pan in hand, staring back at her. 

“Good morning,” he said, “I made some breakfast. You’re probably very hungry. I’m not used to having guests so I got up early and bought some food,” 

He could have sworn he saw her smile. 

Belle sat down at the tiny table, watching him as he poured her some orange juice. He had cooked so much: eggs, pancakes, bacon, sausages, and biscuits with butter…it was more food than what she was used to eating at the hospital. 

She started to cry. 

Gold stopped pouring her juice, and reached over, putting a hand on hers. 

“Hey there love, you don’t need to cry,” he soothed. “If you’re not hungry now, I can put this away and you can eat later if you like,” 

She shook her head. The food was too much but Belle didn’t mind. If she could eat it all, she would. But that wasn’t what bothered her. 

Gold sighed and then backed away, picking up the plates to put away. 

“No,” she said, and he stopped, her voice startling him. “I’m very hungry actually. Thank you,” 

He smiled, setting the plates back down. It wasn’t much but he missed hearing her voice; she could have yelled at him then and he would still have a big grin on his face because at least, she was talking to him. 

“All right,” he said, “Eat what you like,” 

He caught her smile that time. 

~~

Belle was quiet, too quiet for Gold’s taste but he didn’t want to push her away. He offered to make some coffee or tea. Belle felt embarrassed but she liked tea and wondered if he still had it? The cup that she accidentally chipped. The man she knew wasn’t sentimental but he was different now, she was different. 

He made some lemon tea, preparing two cups for them but didn’t use the chipped cup. Still, Belle smiled as he handed her a cup. 

“How did you sleep dear?” 

Belle only smiled, sipping her tea. 

Gold sighed. “I didn’t mean to interrupt your sleep last night but you seemed troubled,” he said, hoping his concern would prompt her to talk to him. 

“I had a nightmare,” she said simply. “That’s all,” 

“Oh, I’m sorry dear,” Gold mused. “If you don’t mind me asking, what was it?” 

She took another sip of the tea, relishing the warm liquid running down her throat. “The same nightmare,” she whispered, the same nightmare she’d had for 28 years. 

“What nightmare?” he asked again, putting his teacup down. “Listen Belle, I’m here to help you. You don’t have to be afraid to talk to me, I know all of this must be difficult for you but you’re not alone, dear, not anymore. I’m here for you, always,” 

She felt like crying again. Gold reached over, gently rubbing her cheek. This time, she didn’t shy away from him. Belle thought she saw something in his eyes, something she hadn’t seen in a very long time. 

“Thank you for breakfast,” she said, “It was delicious,” 

“You’re welcome, love,” He smiled, sitting back slowly, suddenly becoming worried. “Um, I have to leave you temporarily this morning. There’s an errand I have to run but I won’t be long,” he promised, “A friend is coming over to watch you,” 

Belle didn’t say anything. Gold stood up, placing the rest of the plates in the sink. Belle drank some more of her tea, which had gotten cold since her last sip. She sat drinking her juice instead, watching for whomever was coming to accompany her. Gold slipped out from the kitchen to fix her bed when his visitor finally arrived. 

“Aw, Sheriff Swan,” he greeted. 

“Morning Gold,” she said, “Where’s our damsel?” 

He led her back to the kitchen and Belle, who was still staring out the window, listening to the birds. She turned, looking at Emma and Gold. “Belle, this is Sheriff Swan. She’s going to be looking after you while I run my errand,” 

Emma smiled at the girl. 

“Hello,” she said, turning her attention to Gold. “You’ll return?”

“I will, I promise,” 

~~

“Doctor Hopper,” he greeted, “I wonder if I could ask you for some advice. I recently rescued a damsel in distress and she’s having trouble coping with her new-found freedom,” 

Archie leaned back in his chair, studying Gold. He rarely visited Dr. Hopper but quickly realized that this was a serious matter, otherwise Gold wouldn’t be there. “Well, um, this young woman, how long was she trapped?” he inquired. 

“28 years,” 

Archie sighed, removing his glasses. “Then most likely, she is suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder; a type of anxiety disorder. It can occur after the patient has seen or experienced a traumatic event that involved the threat of injury or death,” he reasoned. 

Gold leaned on his cane. “And what would cause this disorder?” 

“Several things can cause it but in this case, the feeling of imprisonment. The patient may experience flashback episodes, where the event seems to be happening again and again, like memories or nightmares,” 

“Nightmares,” he repeated. “The woman, the one I’m taking care of, I want to help her but every time I try and reach out to her, she rebuffs me. Is that because she still feels trapped?” 

Archie shrugged. “Have you asked her?” 

“No,” he reasoned, “I am...I feel weak, helpless when I’m around her. How can I help her?” 

“Patience, Mr. Gold. Patience is the key. Her recovery cannot be forced, she needs to adjust slowly, at her own pace but more than anything, she needs your support and her space when she needs it,” 

Gold sighed, sitting down. “I’m not normally a patient man but I will be, for her, if that’s what she needs,” he mused, “Is there anything else?” 

“I wouldn’t recommend bringing her in now but if you can’t reach her, then maybe she needs therapy, to bring her out of her shell. But that’s the last resort,” he advised. 

~~

“It must feel weird to be outside,” Emma commented sitting with Belle, drawing her out of her reverie. 

“We’re inside,” 

Emma laughed. “No, I meant outside of the hospital,” she said, “I was there when Gold rescued you. I don’t know if you remember, or what you remember…” 

Belle sighed. “I’d been trapped for so long down there, I would question what is real and what isn’t; like my memories,” she mused, “Mr. Gold, he’s been good to me, helped me but I…I feel like I barely know him,” 

“Normally, Mr. Gold isn’t a very nice person but…you must be very special and important to him…otherwise he wouldn’t have risked everything to save you,” she surmised. 

“I’m very grateful to him for giving me my freedom,” Belle continued, “He’s a good man,” 

Before Emma could say anything, there was a knock at the door, startling Belle. Emma whispered that it was all right and she went to see who it was. She figured it wouldn’t be Gold since this was his house after all; turned out to be Henry instead. 

“Henry, what are you doing here? Where’s your mom?” 

“I heard about what you did for Mr. Gold, rescuing that girl from the hospital and I looked through my book about who she might be,” he said, casually walking into the house. He found the kitchen and Belle easily; Henry smiled warmly at her as he sat down and placed his fairytale book on the table, flipping to the page he had bookmarked. Emma came in after him. 

Belle looked curiously between Henry and the book. 

“This is you,” he said, pointing to a hooded woman, “Belle,” 

“Um,” Emma interrupted, “Henry, I don’t think now is the best time for this, maybe later though?” 

Henry turned to her. “This will help her remember, she kept her down there for a reason…we have to help her, Emma,” he pleaded. 

Belle took the book, flipping through the pages, flashes of fairytale world. Her life, faces of people, people she once thought were figments of her imagination but now, she felt were more real but they couldn’t be. 

“I remember this,” she said, eliciting a nervous look from Emma and a smile from Henry. 

Before she could say another word, Gold arrived, joining them in the kitchen. He looked pointedly at Emma. “I don’t remember saying Henry could visit,” 

“Oh sorry,” Emma cried, “Henry showed up with his book and…” she lowered her voice, “She says that she remembers,” 

Gold’s cold demure melted and his eyes drifted to Belle as she examined the book. Mr. Gold had never seen Henry’s book before but it triggered something in Belle as she ran her hands over it, holding it as if it were a precious thing. 

“Henry,” Gold started, “Would it be all right if I borrowed your book for a bit? I’ll give it back to you later, I promise,” 

Henry looked at Emma and then to Mr. Gold. “Sure,” he piped. 

~~

Mr. Gold watched Belle as she fervently studied pages and pages of stories from Henry’s book. He vaguely remembered the book but he did remember Belle’s fascination, or obsession with books. When she wasn’t working, he would often find her sitting in his library with a stack of books. 

“Belle,” he started, “what does this mean to you?” 

“It’s our past,” she said, “Everything that ever happened, I used to think it wasn’t real but it is,” 

Gold looked down at the book, catching a glimpse of the story. It wasn’t theirs but if she did remember, then she wouldn’t need to read what happened. But he needed to know what happened to her. Gold knew Dr. Hopper told him not to force her but he felt so close to solving her mystery. 

“What happened to you dear?” 

She sighed. “When I left your castle, I was so angry and frustrated with you…I wasn’t paying attention to the dark figures lingering nearby. They took me and locked me away, far, far away from you; then one day, something changed and I ended up in a different cell,” 

The Queen, Gold thought, making a fist. He should have never believed her. Why did he? 

“No one ever came to see me, no one except her,” she continued, glancing quickly at him. “I used to wonder why you didn’t come after me and I realized why…”

“Why did you think it was?” 

“You didn’t want me, you said so yourself,” she snapped. 

Gold’s heart sank. He had been such a fool; it broke his heart to think that was why Belle thought he didn’t come and look for her. “That wasn’t it,” he reasoned, “I thought you were dead, love. I was told that your father tortured you and you committed suicide,” 

“Suicide?” she cried, “That may have well been the truth; I felt dead inside. All I had were my memories to sustain me, memories of a time I spent with you…I loved you and you turned me away,” 

“I know and I deeply regret that now,” he said, “Belle, my sweet Belle, every day I’ve spent without you, I've regretted. I should have told you the truth when I had the chance. You were right, I was a coward. You saw right through me…” 

“How do I know what you’re telling me now isn’t a lie?” 

“Because…” he pleaded, bracing his hands around her face, running his fingers through her hair, “You see me so clearly than anyone else. Belle, your love is my salvation. I am hollow inside without you, I need you and I missed you so much...” 

Belle leaned forward suddenly and kissed his cheek. Mr. Gold stilled, breathing in her scent, wanting nothing more than for her to kiss him some more. Then, he remembered what Doctor Hopper told him. He couldn't force her. 

“I know,” she whispered, “I missed you too, so very much. There were nights, all I could dream about was the happy time we spent together in your castle and the kiss...I didn't mean to offend but I...”

Belle sighed, this time kissing him on the lips. Mr. Gold pulled her in close; so much that she fell into his lap. Their closeness reminded her of the time she struggled to pull down the curtains and she lost her balance and fell right into his arms. That time seemed so long ago now. 

Mr. Gold ran his hands through her brown hair that felt like silk under his fingertips. 

Belle leaned in closer, whispering into his ear, “I forgive you, my love,” 

Her words gave him a solace he didn't think he would ever feel.  
Regrettably, it had taken almost thirty years for him to realize his mistake: he should have never turned Belle away. He could have been happy and free a long time ago if he just allowed himself but he was too stubborn; he didn't deserve such happiness or that he could be loved by someone like Belle. 

More than anything, he craved that love, wanted to feel it burn within himself and in her. 

“Belle?” he asked. 

She knew what he wanted to ask and smiled, her blue eyes telling him it was okay; it was what she wanted too. After all these years, why waste another moment? 

~~

Mr. Gold smiled, kissing her as he brought their bodies closer together Before Belle knew it, both of them were naked and she was lying underneath him on her bed. Gold gently brushed a hand through her brown hair, letting the strands filter through his fingers. He started trailing kisses down her shoulders, to her neck and body. Belle shivered involuntarily, wrapping one arm around his neck, pulling him closer. As she did so, he came into her. Not fully inside her, but she felt him.She wiggled around a bit, eliciting moans from her lover that only became louder. 

If Mr. Gold could suspend time, he would freeze it around them so they would be together always, in each others arms because nothing was sweeter than spending his days in Belle's arms.

Belle closed her eyes; she had never before felt so much passion. Gold moaned, breathing hard as he reached down, stroking her hair with his hand. She continued to kiss him, her hands roaming freely over his body until he grasped them both; pulling her so she was straddling him. He stared at her for a moment before kissing her; Belle opened her mouth, her tongue dueling with his as her hips moved against each other.

As Belle continued her exploration of his body, Gold's ministrations became faster. She stopped kissing his chest, closed her eyes and made soft cooing sounds, wrapping her body tightly around him, unconsciously forcing him deeper inside of her in a quick, swift motion. Belle's eyes opened suddenly upon realizing what she did and looked up at him. He smiled at her, kissing her forehead before returning to a slower pace. 

Belle closed her eyes, moaning as Gold's steady rhythm became faster and faster with his hands around her waist. Belle's soft moans got louder, her body struggling to keep up with him but he pressed on. She shut her eyes, moaning louder and louder, sweat accumulating on her brow and around her breasts until she finally screamed, crying out his name.

She found Gold's hands on her waist, grasping them as lay beside her, holding her against his chest, wrapping his arms protectively around her. He smiled, kissing her temple, brushing her hair away her from her face. Belle still panted as her body started to cool itself down; she closed her eyes again, hearing nothing except for his heartbeat and she smiled.

Belle giggled. “I can't believe we waited 28 years to do that,” 

“Was it worth the wait?” he asked. 

“Yes,” she whispered, turning her head to kiss him and then resting his head on his chest. “Now I feel like I can finally sleep,”

“You're tired already?” 

Belle laughed, “Not of you,” she mused, “but I feel at peace, whole. Does that make any sense?” 

“It does,” he said, his smile suddenly fading, understanding her meaning. Her sleep had been plagued by nightmares of a time she wasn't sure were real or not. “Belle, your nightmares – were they about me?” he wondered. 

“Honestly?” she mused, “Some yes, others no. But I know they won't come back because you're here to protect me from them,” 

“That's right, love, I will,” he promised. “Always,”

The End


	2. What's In a Name?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Belle doesn’t know what to call Mr. Gold; Gold has other things on his mind and takes it upon himself to distract Belle from her task.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers: After my fic, “This waking nightmare lingers; show me who I am.”    
> Disclaimer: Once Upon a Time characters are property of Disney and Adam Horowitz, Edward Kitsis. This fanfic is for pure entertainment.

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose   
By any other name would smell as sweet."  
Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)

“I don’t know what to call you,” Belle said suddenly, causing him to look at her funny. She smiled and blushed, “I mean, I know your name; I know the real you but I can’t call you by your real name in public…I guess what I’m trying to say is…I don’t know what to call you,” 

Mr. Gold grinned, kissing her temple. “You can call me whatever you like, dearie,” he purred, pulling her close to him, causing Belle to giggle. 

“No, I’m serious!” she protested, even as he continued to kiss her neck. “What endearments am I allowed to call you?” 

Gold sighed, “What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet," he said, grinning, “Its Shakespeare, a very poetic and excellent writer from this world…he lived centuries ago. He wrote a play, Romeo and Juliet, they were two young star-crossed lovers. Once Juliet found out he was from a rival family, it devastated and confused her; how could she love someone she was born to hate?”

Belle turned to him. “But I don’t hate you,” she added. 

“I know; I’m glad that you don’t considering the last time we saw each other…” he mused. “I should have never told you to leave,” 

“No, you shouldn’t have,” Belle agreed, “but it’s in the past; it doesn’t matter now because we’re together finally,” 

Mr. Gold was grateful to be reunited with his Belle; he still couldn't fathom how he could believe such a blatant lie from the Queen. 

“I still want to know what I can call you,” Belle continued, “I mean, I can't refer to you all the time as Mr. Gold, or do you even give yourself a first name?” 

“Not really,” he mused, “What's the matter? Don't you like it?”

Belle shrugged. “I guess it fits who you were; you spun straw into gold...”

“You can't call me by my real name, at least not out in public,” he reasoned. 

Belle's brow furrowed, biting her lip; a big smile creasing her lips. Gold shifted, looking curiously at her. “What? What is it?” he ventured. 

“It's silly,” she said, “What if I called you 'rumple' or 'rumps'?” 

Gold didn't know what to think about that, the Evil Queen called him rumple and rumps, sounded...very odd. 

“Bad idea,” Belle said quickly, “obviously, you don't like either of them,”

“That assumption is correct,” he mused. 

Belle sighed, “I can't refer to you as Mr. Gold all the time; it's so...formal and we're not unfamiliar with each other,” she reasoned. 

Gold smiled, nuzzling her neck, tickling her slightly. “We're certainly not strangers,” he teased, kissing her. 

“No, we're not,” she whispered, kissing him back, “but we...all right. Let's try something else,” 

“Like what? He asked, fervently kissing her neck and bare shoulders. 

“Well,” she managed, though the sound of her voice came out somewhat cracked, “Oh dear!” 

“Yes dear?” he teased, taken to nibbling on her earlobe. 

“I was about to suggest something,” Belle mused, “what was it?” 

Gold shrugged, pulling her close to him and running his fingers along her skin. “It was something about a name for me,” he said, pleasantly caressing her. 

“Right,” Belle affirmed, “We need to give you a name,” 

Gold grinned, crawling on top of her, spreading her legs wide. Belle tried to focus but her mind was a jumble, her pulse racing even faster as her lover found that glorious spot. “Oh gods!” Belle cried. 

“You could call me a god if you like,” he teased, between kisses. 

“It would certainly be fitting, wouldn't it?” she mused, feeling that sweet sensation get even hotter; her pulse felt like a drum burning in her ears. 

Belle closed her eyes, tensing into the pillow, her body racked with pleasure and still wanting more. She wanted him, and everything he could give her. 

Gold relished every minute of teasing Belle, his hands cupping her thighs as his kisses became even deeper and sensual. The more he kissed her, the more he became aroused himself and wanted so desperately for her to do something about that. 

Eventually, Belle pulled him on top of her and inside. 

“Again, so soon my love?” he teased. 

“Yes,” she breathed, kissing him. 

Gold's grin widened and he leaned closer to her, coming into that sweet spot that was still, very wet from before. He wiggled a bit at first, eliciting soft moans; then started moving around slowly. Belle pulled him in close, her hands grasping his back and her thighs, trying to keep in time with him. 

He was already very close but he wanted her to feel it first, to hear her cry out his name like before.   
Eventually, Belle caught on with his rhythm and matched it, pushing herself harder and harder until she collapsed on the bed, overwhelmed with pleasure. Gold collapsed beside her, feeling the warm sweat on her skin. 

“I think,” Belle breathed, “Rumps suits you,” 

He turned, grinning at her, “Oh you think so, do you?” 

Belle tried to hide her smile, but it was impossible. “Well, only in private,” she whispered, “Outside, just Gold will do,” 

Gold smiled, leaning down to kiss her, “and you Belle, what sweet sentiments am I allowed you?” he wondered. 

“My love, my darling, precious sweetheart, lovely, beautiful Belle,” she teased, “Or just Belle,” 

“I like beautiful Belle,” Gold whispered, running his fingers along her skin, “Beautiful, sweet, darling, Belle,” 

Belle giggled, his touch sending shivers down her spine, planting kisses along the way. “My darling Belle, did I forget to mention that I love to tease you because I can?” 

Her eyes narrowed, exclaiming, “You little...Rumpelstiltskin!” 

“Ah-ah, I thought we made a deal to never use the full name?” 

“Only when you're bad,” Belle said. 

“I'm being bad now, am I?” 

“Very,” she retorted, encircling an arm around his neck, “You’re very Rumplelicious,”

“Rumplelicious?” 

Belle frowned, “You don’t like that one either?” she cried, biting her lip, “What about Goldilicious?” 

Gold didn’t know what to think about that one either. He supposed they were saucy and somewhat sexy but neither seemed appealing to him as nicknames. 

“Maybe they don’t work as nicknames,” Belle offered. 

“Giving me a nickname is that important to you,” 

Belle shrugged, “It is,” she mused, “It doesn't change the way I feel about you but I think it would be sweet,”

“If it means that much to you love…” he paused, kissing the back of her palm, “I prefer ‘Rumple,’” 

“I thought you didn’t like that one,”

He shrugged. “I don’t like it when the Queen calls me Rumple, but it sounds sweeter when you say it,” he mused, kissing her. 

“Rumple,” Belle said, trying out the name.

Mr. Gold smiled, leaning down to kiss her, pulling her more fully into his arms. No matter happened between them, it could never change the way he felt about her either, not even a dark curse could change that. 

He was Rumpelstiltskin and she was his beauty, his Belle. 

The End


	3. a bit of air

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been weeks since Gold and Emma freed Belle from the hospital. Now, she wants to be able to go out and explore Storybrooke, but her first outing with her lover, doesn't go the way she had hoped it would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Rating: PG-13  
> Disclaimer: Once Upon a Time characters are property of Disney and Adam Horowitz, Edward Kitsis. This fanfic is for pure entertainment.

Three weeks, that's how long it had been since Mr. Gold and Emma rescued her from the hospital. In those three weeks, Belle spent a lot of time, reacquainting herself with her lost love and becoming more familiar with his rather large estate. 

She knew where everything was and quickly became familiar with his daily routine; he usually awoke before her, mostly to prepare breakfast for her later. Sometimes, they would catch each other before he would have to leave to go to his shop. Gold rarely came home for lunch so Belle would be alone, by herself, most of the day. 

Gold's house always felt warmer when he was there with her but when she was alone, it felt different; empty. Belle spent years locked up and alone; to be in the same position but in a different environment, even with someone she was comfortable with, was unsettling. 

Gold suspected something was bothering her during dinner, mostly because she kept fidgeting and seemed distracted. 

“Belle?” he asked. 

She nearly jumped, looking curiously at him and blushing slightly. “Oh sorry,” she said. 

“Is something bothering you, love?” 

She smiled, shaking her head. “No, I'm fine,” 

Gold pressed his hands together, studying her, “You realize that you're a very bad liar, Belle,” he said, “I know something is bothering you. It's all right, you can tell me,” 

Belle hesitated a moment, then folded her napkin, setting it away, looking plainly at him, “First of all, I don't want to sound ungrateful and I can understand why you're very protective of me but...”

“But...?” 

“This is your home, Rumple and it only feels warm when you're here with me,” she said, causing him to smile thoughtfully at her, “but most of the time, you're not. I'm here alone all day and...I feel...”

“Lonely? Abandoned?” he finished. 

“Isolated,” Belle corrected, reaching over to entangle her hand with his across the table, “I know it's changed out there because of the Queen's curse but I'd rather explore this new land then be locked away, again,” she explained. 

Gold sighed, rubbing his chin. He knew he was overly protective of her (and for good reason) but he also understood her desire for more freedom than what she was allowed. Furthermore, he knew he couldn't keep hidden away forever; Belle was always an adventurous spirit. That's one of the reasons he loved her so much. 

“All right,” he conceded and Belle's face lit up. 

“I'll take you with me to my shop, tomorrow,”

“And then?” she asked. 

“Bring you home?” Gold finished.

Belle frowned. “And that's it?” she cried. “Darling, I don't think you understand my request...”

Mr. Gold shrugged, “You need a bit of air?” 

“More than a bit of air!” Belle exclaimed, “I need to do something to keep myself busy when you're not here...I need to be useful...I need...”

“A job?” He finished, “If you need something to do, you can work with me at my shop,”

Working at her lover's shop wasn't exactly what she had in mind, but at least she would be outside and be with him. “That would suffice,” she supposed. 

Gold smiled back. “Very well then, you can join me tomorrow,” he said. 

~~

Belle was terribly miserable, leaning against one of the glass cases in Gold's pawnshop. They went to the shop around 7:30 a.m. and opened at 8. Gold instructed her to dust off a few things, while he set about re-arranging. Around 9 am, she finished dusting and started helping him rearranging, taking note of the different objects in the store. 

Most of them she recognized, like the pair or marionettes; other things, not so much. 

It wasn't until around 11:30, that Belle started to get fidgety again. Between then and noon, Belle felt like screaming. 

From the time they opened, no one came into the shop. At all. 

“So, is it like this every day?” she asked. 

Gold smiled at her. “Mostly, yes,” he mused, “Why? What did you think it was like?” 

Belle shrugged. “I don't know...I mean...does anyone come to see you?” 

“When they need something,” Gold continued, fully understanding her frustration. After all, it was like this every day for the past 28 years. Nothing ever changed until Henry brought Emma to town. 

“C'mon,” he soothed, “I'll close shop for lunch, and we can get a bite at Granny's,” 

Belle smiled sourly. 

~~

Granny's Diner was nice but not very busy; a tall brunette woman, wearing the tightest short shorts and high heels and red lipsticks and incredibly too much make-up, came by to take their order. Belle ordered a soup and salad, and Gold a sandwich. She smiled brightly at Belle, glanced at Gold and then promptly left the table. 

It wasn't until after she left that a big 'O' formed on Belle's lips and she looked at Rumple. “Was that?” she cried. 

“Yes, it was,” he said. 

“She's ...nothing like her other world counterpart, less clothes than her usual outfit,” Belle mused, “but she's still with Granny, so not everyone is separated from each other,” 

Gold sighed. “Ruby's always been that, it drives Granny crazy,” 

“I can see why,” Belle reasoned, “All these people, they have no idea...”

“Henry does, Regina's adopted son,” he said, “The sheriff is his biological mother,” 

“Emma,” she remembered, “How does she fit into the scheme of things?” 

Gold only grinned, his eyes telling her he knew exactly how Emma fit but he wasn't at liberty to say anything at the moment. Belle would have to wait until later. 

Ruby came back awhile later with their orders, she smiled at them and was about to leave again when she turned around and looked at Belle. “You're new here, aren't you?” she asked. 

Belle glanced at Gold and then to Ruby. “I am, yes,” she confirmed, “I'm Isabelle,” 

“Isabelle, that's a pretty name,” Ruby complimented, “If you ever need a shopping buddy, I know all the best spots in town,” 

Belle blushed and Ruby smiled, leaving them alone. 

~~

Mr. Gold was barely able to touch his sandwich throughout much of lunch, since Belle kept on talking and asking him questions, faster than he was able to answer them; which was a drastic change since the first week she first arrived at his home and barely said a word. 

The one moment he didn't have to worry about Belle's questions, Emma walked in. She spotted them and came over. 

“Sheriff Swan,” Gold greeted. 

Emma looked at Belle. “You finally talked him into letting you outside. Good,” she observed, “How do you like your first outing so far?” 

She sighed, “A bit over whelming but exciting at the same time,” she said, “I never properly thanked you, Sheriff Swan, for your part in my rescue. Thank you,”

“No problem, anything to up one on Regina,” Emma whispered, and started to walk away when a thought occurred to her. “Henry mentioned that you might be interested in a little bookstore on Main Street,” 

Emma was not wrong in her assumption as Belle's face lit up in excitement. She had read through every book in Mr. Gold's house and was excited to read something new. Gold laughed to himself, observing her reaction. 

“Thank you, Sheriff Swan,” she said. 

“Call me, Emma, please. I'll see you both later,” 

~~

Mr. Gold took Belle to the said bookstore promptly after lunch; it was a small space but the fact that it was small, made it an intimate setting and quiet enough, you didn't have to worry about many distractions. Belle felt like she was going to cry, so happy and at ease around the books; she didn't even notice Gold leave her side and talk quietly with the bookstore owner about a small matter. 

He came back awhile later, joined by the bookstore owner. Belle looked curiously at them, blushing. 

“Oh sorry,” she said. 

“No need to apologize miss,” the owner, an elderly man mused, “Mr. Gold tells me you have an obsession with books and am perhaps, looking for a job too?” 

Belle's face turned redder. “I'm new in town, Mister?” 

“George,” he said, “I am in need of an assistant to take care of the store when I'm busy working in the back. The job is yours, if you want it?” 

Belle smiled excitedly; Gold couldn’t help but smile himself, happy to see her smile. 

~~

Belle couldn't contain her joy as she left the store with Gold, her arm locked through his. As soon as they were a safe distance away from the store, she couldn't help herself. She cornered him against a wall and kissed him. 

“Thank you,” she whispered, kissing him again. “You didn't have to talk to the owner on my behalf...”

Gold smiled, running his thumb on her cheek. “I could see today that you weren't exactly thrilled to be working in my shop; I don't blame you. 28 years, I worked in that shop and rarely anyone comes in to buy anything. It's more of a museum than a shop. And it's true about what I said before, the only time people come in there is when they need something,” he explained, “And Belle, above everything, all I want is your happiness, love,”

She kissed him again. “Thank you,” she said again, leaning in closer, “If you don't have to go back to your shop right now, maybe I can thank you more properly at home?” 

“I would like that very much, love,” he mused, “but I do need to go back. I will walk you back to the house though,” 

Belle once again locked her arm through his; smiling as she did so, walking with him down Main Street to their home. It was then Belle realized that Storybrooke was her home. 

And now, she had a place in it. 

The End


	4. Give Me a Reason to Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Belle finds out about Mr. Gold’s attack on Moe French and she confronts him about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Rating: PG-13  
> Disclaimer: Once Upon a Time characters are property of Disney and Adam Horowitz, Edward Kitsis. This fanfic is for pure entertainment.

Belle meets her father accidentally one day while on the way to George’s bookstore. Moe French is outside of his flower shop, selling roses, slightly limping. She picks a rose from his display and takes pity on him, wondering aloud how he injured himself. 

He says he doesn’t wish to talk about it but that doesn’t deter Belle because even though Moe French may not remember her, Belle knows he is her father and still loves him. 

Moe relents because he doesn’t wish to be rude to her, so he tells her about that dark night some months ago when Mr. Gold kidnapped him, brought him to the cabin in the woods and beat him repeatedly, ranting on and on about a ‘her’ he supposedly hurt. 

It’s clear to Belle who the ‘her’ is but she can’t get the image of her Mr. Gold continually beating her father. Belle says that she’s sorry, pays him for the rose and quietly leaves. 

Belle spends the rest of the day at work, her heart breaking into pieces, thinking how someone she loved so much could hurt her father. She’s confused, hurt and angry but Belle is willing to give her love the benefit of the doubt. But something else tugs at her to feel differently. 

~~

The feeling gnaws at Belle and she feels blessed when she returns home, their home, that she’s the first one there. Belle needs time to figure things out on her own but the more she thinks about how her lover could have hurt her father, the angrier she gets. She knows there has to be a good reason why he acted the way he did but she can’t rationale what that reason might be. 

Gold arrives home an hour later. Belle sits alone at the dining room table, meal already prepared but visibly disturbed. 

“Hello my darling,” he greets her, walking into the kitchen. Belle doesn’t look at him or even stand up to kiss him on the cheek. “How was your day today?” 

“Interesting,” is all she says, refusing to make eye contact with him. 

Dinner continues in silence and Belle parts ways with Gold, shutting herself in her old room. Gold shrugs, figuring that she had a bad day at work and retreats to his room. It isn’t until before he turns in and he realizes that Belle hasn’t slipped into his room that he seeks her out. 

And that’s when he finds that she’s locked herself in her old room. 

“Belle?” he cries, “Belle, please open up,” 

She doesn’t respond. 

“Belle, please talk to me!” 

“Why should I?!” she shouts back. “I thought I knew you but I guess I was wrong,” 

Gold sighs. “What are you talking about? Belle, of course, you know me – whatever’s bothering you – we can work it out together,” he says. 

“I don’t think we can,” she offers back. 

“Well, why not?” 

Belle opens the door suddenly, glaring back at him. “You hurt me,” she cries. 

Gold frowns. “How?” 

“Oh, you know how you hurt me!” she retorts. 

“Sorry, but I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he says, “Please Belle, talk to me,” 

She rolls her eyes, crossing her arms defiantly. Gold doesn’t know what she’s talking about, making her even more furious. “Belle, please?” 

“How could you do it?!” she cries finally, “My own father?!” 

And Gold knows exactly what she is talking about: his attack of Moe French in the cabin. Gold hoped that incident would never come up and can’t figure out how she found out about it…

“You’re a monster!” Belle continues to cry, storming away from him. 

“Belle!” he calls after her, following her. “You don’t understand,”

“You’re right, I don’t understand how you could hurt him like that,” she shouts back, “My father, Rumple – he’s my father and you hurt him. You may as well have beaten me in that cabin!” 

Gold recoils. “I could never hurt you,” he whispers. 

“Never hurt me?” she retorts, “What about screaming at me that I could never love you, throwing me in the dungeon and then kicking me out, claiming that your power meant more to you than my love?” 

“That was different,” 

“Is it?” she challenges. 

“What happened with Moe French is different --- you don’t know the whole story,” he defends. 

Belle shakes her head, tears swelling in her eyes. “I don’t think I want to know the whole story,” she cries. 

“I’m going to tell it to you anyway,” he counters, “Your father had defaulted on a loan, so he took his revenge by stealing some things of mine,” 

“So you beat him for stealing your stuff? Boy am I glad, I never thought about doing that,” Belle seethes, “you might have done a lot worse to me since I live with you,” 

Gold ignores her snarky remark. “But it wasn’t really him, Regina coaxed him into stealing because she needed to talk to me about something,” he continues. “She kept your chipped cup as an excuse to talk to me because I refused to talk to her earlier that day after she witnessed me take away your father’s van to satisfy terms of his loan,” 

“So you beat him because you thought he still had the cup?” 

“Yes – and I regret it now,” he pleads, “Please Belle, you have to believe me,” 

Belle shakes her head. “You beat my father over a chipped cup?” 

“I know it seems ridiculous but you have to understand – that cup – was the only thing I had left of you. If there was even a possibility of loosing it forever…it felt like loosing you all over again,” he says. 

Belle doesn’t know what to say but her anger simmers down. She understands that Moe took something precious from him but it still doesn’t excuse his actions. “Leave me alone,” she whispers instead. 

Gold feels like breaking and her words cut him like a knife but he understands. 

~~

They sleep in separate rooms but Gold can’t sleep knowing his love is in a different room, thinking the worst of him and possibly contemplating leaving him. He doesn’t blame her. Her love brings out the best and worst in him. But he hoped since her return, that being with her, made him a better man. 

Gold feels his eyelids become heavy and he can’t stay awake a moment longer, letting his dreams bring him back to happier times: reuniting with Belle, the countless nights they’d made love in his bed, eating breakfast with her every morning and seeing her face light up when he comes home. 

How he wishes she could feel her arms around him right now, whispering that she understands but he knows it’s going to take a long time for her to forgive him for this. 

He wakes up suddenly and finds Belle standing at the foot of his bed, a determined but soft expression on her face. 

“Have you paid?” she asks. 

Gold thinks he’s paid enough with her silence but he knows what she means. “No,” he says. 

“Then you’re going to pay, reimburse him for every paid medical bill, visits to the hospital, physical therapy, everything,” Belle continues, “Because you owe him,” 

“I’ll pay,” he agrees. It’s not in his nature to be lenient in his deals but for Belle, he’ll do it. 

“And if he ever asks why you’re doing this for him, say it’s because a close friend asked you to,” 

“What if he refuses my help?” 

Belle sighs, idly walking closer to the bed. “Tell him that you won’t let him refuse,” she says, “Because this is your repentance,” 

“What’s your real reason?” he asks. 

“When I saw him today, he didn’t recognize me and I’m his daughter,” she cries. “I know that’s because of the curse, because of her but I can’t treat him like a stranger because he’s not. He’s my father, I love him and I need to help him remember that. But I can’t help him if he knows my connection to you,” 

Gold smiles, grateful that she doesn’t recoil when he reaches out to touch her cheek. “I’m sorry Belle,” he offers. 

“I know you are,” she sympathizes. “but it’s going to take me some time to get over this. I hope you understand that?”

“I do,” he whispers. 

Belle gets into bed with him, kisses his cheek and goes to sleep. Gold sighs, realizing that love isn’t easy but it is forgiving. Gold understands this because love has taught him to be a patient man. 

The End


End file.
